Introduction: Families are under attack. The definition of marriage
and family is changing in the popular culture. The pressure of
culture has both spouses working hard so that “family time” is
limited. Even when the family is all together, they are often looking
at screens and not talking with each other. The idea is to pass
Biblical principles down to your children. How much time is spent on
that? Culture also promotes marital unfaithfulness. Let’s explore
what wise words the Bible has to protect families against the popular
culture!
- Faithfulness
- Read Proverbs 5:1. Who is speaking? (This is written like
a father speaking to his son.) - Read Proverbs 5:2. What will listening to these words and
putting them into practice do for us? (It will help us
with discretion and preserve knowledge.) - What does it mean to “maintain discretion?” (I think
it means you will choose wisely.) - What does it mean for “your lips” to “preserve
knowledge?” (Your children will listen to what you
have to say on the topic.) - Do you think that this advice is gender specific?
(The language is, but I think the advice is not.) - Read Proverbs 5:3. Will you be attracted to an adulteress?
(Yes!) - Read Proverbs 5:4. Will the end of your relationship be as
pleasant as the beginning? (No, it will be bitter.) - What does the “double edged sword” reference tell us?
(We will get badly hurt.) - Read Proverbs 5:5-6. Does the person who desires to have
an affair with you think that she (or he) are doing the
wrong thing? (They don’t think about it. They look at the
excitement of the moment, and not the “way of life.”) - If the person seeking the affair thought about the
way of life, what would that person conclude? (It
leads to bitterness and death.) - Read Proverbs 5:7-8. What is the best approach to avoiding
problems? (Stay far away.) - Is that what the natural heart desires? (When someone
who is not your spouse says that you look great or
sexy, it is a great boost to your ego. These are
things most people love to hear. You want to spend
time with the person who praises you.) - What is the obvious conclusion for those who
are married? (Compliment your spouse!
Compliments from others will mean less.) - Read Proverbs 5:9-11. What starts out as a great ego boost
ends how? (You lose your wealth. Your life ends in a
groan. You ego sinks.) - Why does your life end in a groan? (“Your flesh and
body are spent.” The affair is focused on your “flesh
and body.” You no longer are attractive.”) - Read Proverbs 5:12-14. What is the main failure? (To
follow advice. To accept correction.) - Read Proverbs 5:15-19. Where should we direct our
attention? (Our spouse!) - Re-read Proverbs 5:19. What does this say indirectly
to the spouse? (Don’t “let yourself go.” Don’t say,
“I’m married. It no longer matters how I look, dress,
or act.”) - How many times have you seen an affair involving
someone who is worse looking than the spurned spouse?
(This happens because the appeal to ego is blinding.
But, you should still try to remain attractive.) - How important is selfishness in marital
unfaithfulness? (Proverbs points to a failure to take
advice. A major theme of the Bible is self-denial.
The unfaithful spouse says, “I prefer myself over my
spouse and family.” As we age, self-denial is
involved in exercise and proper diet.) - Read Proverbs 5:21-23. God affirms that He sees all. How
does He view marital unfaithfulness? (He calls it “great
folly.”) - It is hard for us to realistically evaluate our
actions. Can you see why God calls it not simply
“folly,” but “great folly?” (From the point of view
of wealth it is folly. From the point of view of your
relationship with your children it is folly. From the
point of view of living a peaceful life it is folly.
It can also create peril for your job. God is right!) - Parents and Children
- Read Proverbs 13:22. Is this saying that if you are a good
person you will leave an inheritance for your children and
grandchildren? This is a goal if you want to be called
“good?” Or, is this saying that a natural result of
obedience to God is accumulating enough money to help your
family for two generations? (I think it is the second
meaning. God blesses the good person. The sinner will lose
his wealth to those who are righteous.) - Recall that we just discussed the financial downside
of marital unfaithfulness? Is that part of the
reason why the “good” will have more money to leave? - Read Proverbs 13:25. How can you make sure that your
children are properly fed? (God will look out for those
who are faithful!) - What does it mean to be “faithful?” (Read Proverbs
27:23-27. (Proverbs links faithfulness with attention
to duty. It teaches that we should pay careful
attention to our business, because wealth is not
guaranteed to continue. For the farmer, each year is
new.) - Read Proverbs 13:24. Notice that two forms of guidance are
mentioned: the “rod” and “discipline.” They have two
meanings. One can literally mean a “stick” and the other
means to “chasten.” Why do you think two terms were used? - Read Proverbs 29:1. It is unpopular in some circles
to spank a child. My wife, a retired elementary
teacher and an expert in discipline, points out that
there are many creative ways to discipline without
striking a child. What should we be concerned about
if we do not properly discipline our children? (When
they get out in the world, they will be destroyed. In
the debate over spanking, this is an important
consideration.) - Let’s go back and look at Proverbs 13:24 again. What
is the motive for disciplining your children? (Love.
If you are striking your child because you are angry,
you have completely missed the point. Proper
discipline is motivated by love, not anger.) - Wife
- Read Proverbs 31:10-12. Earlier we studied texts that
specifically referred to the husband being faithful. We
looked at them as being applicable to both spouses. What
does this tell us about a faithful wife? (She brings her
husband good and not harm. Her husband has “full
confidence” in her.) - Read Proverbs 31:13-15. How would you label a wife like
this? (Hard-working! Industrious. This is certainly not a
lazy person.) - Read Proverbs 31:16-18. Equal opportunity for women was
not part of the culture when this was written. What lesson
does this teach us about women working outside of
“traditional” jobs? (I’m not an expert on the culture of
that time, but I believe that owning property, purchasing
property, planting a vineyard, and trading goods were all
activities generally reserved to men. The Bible, once
again, is counter to the popular culture!) - Read Proverbs 31:21-22. We discussed earlier how
diligence in work results in having enough food for your
children. How does this say a mother can contribute to
security for the children? (A diligent mother results in
properly clothed children.) - For those of you who think the Bible promotes plain
dressing, what kind of clothing is praised here?
(“Fine linen,” “scarlet,” and “purple” all signal
expensive clothing. There is some debate about
whether “scarlet” should be understood as
“double”(warm clothing). But, the entire sense of
this cannot be missed: the mother and children are
well dressed.) - How should we understand 1 Timothy 2:9-10 and 1 Peter
3:3-4? (Peter tells us that your character, and not
what you wear, should be your true beauty. If we
assume that there is no conflict among the texts of
the Bible, that would mean that wearing beautiful
clothes is fine, but should not be considered the
basis for evaluating your worth as a person.) - Friend, do you see a theme in what the Bible has to say
about families? I think that theme is faithfulness to God,
self-denial, diligence in our work, and love for each
other. These create a great family atmosphere. If you find
that your family is not meeting these standards, why not
pray that God will help you to come closer to these
ideals? - Next week: The Royal Love Song.
