Introduction: After thirty-three years of marriage, my work location
changed so that I was only home on the weekends. During the week, I
was free to eat dinner wherever I wanted, and go wherever I wanted.
No need to make a joint decision with my wife. At first it was fun.
After a while, however, I became lonely when eating out by myself.
Although I was not really alone because my adult daughter was living
with me, and I was working long hours, it gave me some idea of what
it would be like to be alone. Let’s explore what the Bible has to
say about the positive and negative aspects of being alone!
- Rope
- Read Ecclesiastes 4:9. Why do two have “a good return for
their work?” (Read Ecclesiastes 4:8. The context shows
that having someone with which to share your wealth
creates a “return” for your work.) - Read Ecclesiastes 4:10. Is this statement only about
emergencies? (I’ve learned that in many marriages the
husband and wife share the same tasks. For example, they
take turns cooking. In our marriage, my wife and I have a
division of labor. She does some jobs and I do others. An
extreme example is that I do not know how to cook, but I
installed the stove and repair other appliances. I think
my incompetence in some areas satisfies the “falling”
reference. When it comes to cooking, I’m a failure.) - Read Ecclesiastes 4:11-12. I was following along until we
got to the “three” strand cord. Solomon had hundreds of
wives. Is he suggesting polygamy is best? (We have been
assuming that the text refers to marriage. In fact, it
does not for it refers to a “friend” helping the fallen.) - Since these verses have application outside marriage,
what do they teach those who live alone? (Make
friends! If you have several close friends, that is
even better.) - Marriage v. Being Single
- Read 1 Corinthians 7:25. Are some things included in the
Bible not from God? (Paul tells us that what he is about
to write is not from God. However, he says he thinks he
has pretty good judgment.) - Read 1 Corinthians 7:26-28. What motivates this advice?
(“The present crisis.” This is not advice for normal
times.) - What is the “present crisis?”
- Let’s focus on 1 Corinthians 7:28. Do you have many
troubles in your marriage? (Thankfully, I do not. But, I
know some who do.) - If you have observed the same thing I have, what
percentage of marriages would you say face “many
troubles?” - What lesson should those who are single and would
prefer to be married learn from this? - Is this a lesson that is based on the “present
crisis?” (I don’t think that is a point Paul is
making.) - Can wisdom improve your odds of having fewer troubles
in marriage? (Over the years, a number of women have
discussed potential husbands with me. Many times I
was sure that marrying a particular man would create
many problems. Remaining single would be better. I
should admit, no one who spoke to me remained single.
They either ignored my advice or found better men.) - Read 1 Corinthians 7:29-31. Is Paul right about “the time
is short?” (If he is talking about the Second Coming of
Jesus, and I believe he is, then he is wrong.) - Paul is not just talking about marriage. He mentions
mourning, being happy, buying things and enjoying
things. What is the common thread for the way we view
all of those things? (Paul says that in light of
Jesus’ soon coming, ignore the sadness and joy of
what is happening around you, and stay focused on the
end of time.) - What drives the overall teaching of Paul in this
section? (This is about an emergency situation.) - What is the blessing of Paul’s approach? (I’m
sure Paul applied this advice to himself. What
we know is that Paul wrote a great deal of the
New Testament. Limiting his joy on earth
greatly advanced the Kingdom of God.) - Read 1 Corinthians 7:32-34. Paul seems to have moved to
being “concerned,” a slightly different approach to the
same subject. Does marriage increase your worries? (Paul
says that a married person is concerned about their
spouse, and not merely about pleasing God.) - Do you find this is true in your life? (I recall a
couple of instances where I thought I had a conflict
between what God was leading me to do and what my
wife wanted to do. On the other hand, I think my wife
has greatly reduced the number of “concerns” in my
life. She does many things that would otherwise
burden me if I were single.) - Read 1 Corinthians 7:35 and 1 Corinthians 7:39-40. Paul
says that remaining single is for our own good. He also
says that you are happier. If you are single, do you find
this is true? Is it is an advantage to be single? - Is this advice for any time? Or, is Paul still
giving emergency advice? - Notice that in 1 Corinthians 7:39-40 Paul is writing
to someone who has been married. He writes that
someone who was previously married would be happier
if single. If you are in that situation, what is
your opinion? - Unyoked Marriage
- Read 1 Corinthians 7:12-13. Is this Paul’s opinion? (No.
He says this is from God.) - How many couples that you know do not agree when it
comes to religious belief? - How many of those disagreements arose after they were
married? - What does Paul advise when one spouse is converted to
Christianity and the other is not? (He says to remain
in the marriage.) - Read 1 Corinthians 7:14. Why does Paul advise staying in
the marriage? (The unbelieving spouse “has been
sanctified.”) - What does that mean?
- Recall that when we were studying whether we should
make friends with pagans, the advice in 1 Corinthians
15:33 was that good would be corrupted by the bad.
Why doesn’t that apply here? (This situation is much
different. Both were pagans and one spouse decided to
change and become a Christian. The spouse that
changed has already shown independence and strength.) - How do children play into the advice in 1 Corinthians
7:14? (The children are benefitted by the marriage
remaining intact.) - In my family, my maternal grandmother and grandfather
represent an unequally yoked marriage. Grandmother
regularly attended church, while grandfather never
did. How would you predict this would affect their
children? (This had a big impact on my mother. She
refused to marry my father until he became a church
member. My mother’s brother, however, followed in
the footsteps of my grandfather.) - How far does the decision to marry an
unbeliever reach? (It appears to me that
generations were affected by that decision.) - Read 1 Corinthians 7:15-16. What if the pagan decides to
leave the marriage? Should the Christian cooperate? (Paul
says, “yes.”) - On what does Paul place a high value? (Peace. But,
notice, this is the peace that comes from letting the
unbeliever go. Paul does not commend peace when it is
the Christian who wants to leave.) - Why do you think Paul makes this distinction?
(Because if the unbelieving spouse wants to
stay, the loving Christian has a real
opportunity to convert the unbelieving spouse.) - Friend, the general approach of the Bible is to favor
marriage. However, Paul believes that in certain
situations being single is better and can lead to greater
happiness. If you are alone rejoice in that. If you are
alone, making friends will bless your life. Why not place
yourself in the position to be blessed? - Next week: Wise Words for Families.
