Introduction: One “family season,” is passion. That is how we get the
family, right? This week we study the pleasure and limits on passion.
What could be more exciting? Let’s dive into the Bible and see what
it has to teach us!
- Passion
- Read Song of Solomon 1:1-2. How great is kissing? (Better
than wine.) - When Song of Solomon (I’ll abbreviate it as “Song”
from now on), says “love” is more delightful than
wine, is it talking about love or is it describing
the kissing? (Kissing is the expression of love.) - Read Song 1:3. Who is wearing the perfume? (The man.)
- Why mention the smell? (Love involves the touch of
the kiss and the pleasure of smell.) - Read Song 1:10. How does jewelry play into the Bible’s
description of beauty? (This indicates that it makes one
more beautiful.) - Read Song 1:12-14. Who else is wearing perfume? (The
woman.) - The man is referred to as “myrrh resting between my
breasts” and “a cluster of henna blossoms.” When you
wear a new perfume, are you aware of it all day?
(Normally, a new scent is noticed all day. She is
continually aware of him.) - What is the lesson that we are to learn from
this? (We should keep our loved one in mind!) - How does this work in marriage? Do you keep kissing?
Do you keep your spouse in mind all day? Is it a
pleasant thought, like that of flowers? Do you still
do this after decades of marriage? - Read Song 1:15-16. What great advice do we find here?
(Tell your spouse that they look great!) - Focus on the last part of verse 16. What does “our
bed is verdant” mean? That you have green sheets?
(Something that is verdant is flourishing and alive.
This is not suggesting that you let your pets sleep
with you or never wash your sheets. It means keep
your love life fresh.) - Positivity
- Read Song 5:9. Have you asked yourself this about your
spouse? - Read Song 5:10-11 and Song 5:13-15. Is his head really
like gold and his body decorated with sapphires? (Of
course not if he is a human.) - So, what is being said? (She is overstating his
attractiveness.) - When you get together ladies, and discuss your
husbands, do you overstate how good they are or do
you overstate their defects? - What about you, husbands, how do you speak
about your wives? - What does stating your complaints do to your
mind? (It reinforces the negative attitude. You
should say positive things about your spouse.) - Read Genesis 4:1. The NIV refers to “laying” with your
wife and the NKJV refers to “knowing” your wife. The root
Hebrew word means to understand by seeing. Why would
having sex be described as “knowing?” (It is the greatest
intimacy. Nothing is secret anymore.) - I used to read about “open marriages,” meaning that
the couple allow sex with other people. These days I
rarely read about this. If these kinds of marriages
are going away, why? (They make the mistake of
thinking that you can “know” someone intimately and
not be changed. Those marriages generally do not
last.) - Read Genesis 2:24-25. What is the positive side of
“knowing” your spouse? (This is part of becoming “one
flesh.” Sex brings you together. It keeps the
marriage healthy. That is why adultery tears the
marriage relationship.) - Timing
- Read Song 8:1-2. What does he want to be able to do to
her? (Kiss her.) - What is the problem? (Society. The culture will
disapprove. But, if he were her brother, he says no
one would think anything about it.) - What is the lesson for us? (There are time, place,
and relationship restrictions on intimacy with
others.) - Read Song 8:4. What does this tell us about timing? (Those
who are unmarried can and should exert control over
timing. “Arousing love” at the wrong time is dangerous.) - Modern culture in the United States says that this is
not true, that young people cannot control when they
“arouse” love. What do you say? (Modern culture does
not want to suggest control. When I was young there
were no unwed mothers, and it was extremely rare to
be obviously pregnant before marriage. That was not
due to better use of birth control, and it was not
due to abortion. Rather, it was the “control” caused
by society pressure.) - Is “control” different within the church? (A new
bride reported to my wife that she had sex before
marriage, and that everyone did. This suggests an
attitude has completely reversed within a single
generation.) - What does the lack of a father do to “family
seasons?” (The child never experiences a proper
relationship with a father.) - Read Song 8:8. Who is speaking here? (The siblings.)
- What do they want to do? (Help their younger sister
get ready for marriage.) - Read Song 8:9. What are the younger sister’s options? (To
be a wall or a door. She will either accept or reject sex
before marriage.) - How does the outcome change based on the sister’s
decision? (She either is a “tower” with “silver,” or
she is “enclosed” in a limited space.) - What do you think this means? (I think the one
refers to pride and wealth. While the other
refers to limited options.) - Read Song 8:10. What choice does the younger sister make?
(She is a “wall.” She does not have sex before marriage.) - How does that affect her marriage partner? (That
causes contentment.) - Why would that be true? (They are not being
compared to others.) - God’s View
- Read Leviticus 20:10. How serious is adultery in God’s
eyes? - Read Leviticus 20:13. What sin is being described here?
(Homosexual sex.) - How serious a sin is this in God’s eyes? (Like
adultery, it is a death penalty sin.) - Notice the phrase, “their blood will be on their own
heads.” What does that mean? (I think it means they
made a bad choice. God views it as a choice.) - Read Leviticus 20:22-24. What does this teach us about the
popular culture? (It will have different standards than
those of God. God abhors this culture.) - No modern western culture imposes the death penalty
for adultery and homosexuality. What should concern
us about God’s view? (God’s judgment on these things
is the final and ultimate judgment.) - Is this just an Old Testament standard? (Read Romans 1:26-27 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. God’s opinion is the same in
the New Testament. If you have time, read Romans 1. It
traces the progression of sin, and that has some
interesting lessons.) - Friend, God invented sex. He tells us that romance and sex
are wonderful. However, He places time and manner
restrictions. Will you decide, right now, with the aid of
the Holy Spirit to comply with God’s will on this subject? - Next week: Keys to Family Unity.