Introduction: One “family season,” is passion. That is how we get the
family, right? This week we study the pleasure and limits on passion.
What could be more exciting? Let’s dive into the Bible and see what
it has to teach us!

  1. Passion

    1. Read Song of Solomon 1:1-2. How great is kissing? (Better
      than wine.)

      1. When Song of Solomon (I’ll abbreviate it as “Song”
        from now on), says “love” is more delightful than
        wine, is it talking about love or is it describing
        the kissing? (Kissing is the expression of love.)

    2. Read Song 1:3. Who is wearing the perfume? (The man.)

      1. Why mention the smell? (Love involves the touch of
        the kiss and the pleasure of smell.)

    3. Read Song 1:10. How does jewelry play into the Bible’s
      description of beauty? (This indicates that it makes one
      more beautiful.)

    4. Read Song 1:12-14. Who else is wearing perfume? (The

      1. The man is referred to as “myrrh resting between my
        breasts” and “a cluster of henna blossoms.” When you
        wear a new perfume, are you aware of it all day?
        (Normally, a new scent is noticed all day. She is
        continually aware of him.)

        1. What is the lesson that we are to learn from
          this? (We should keep our loved one in mind!)

      2. How does this work in marriage? Do you keep kissing?
        Do you keep your spouse in mind all day? Is it a
        pleasant thought, like that of flowers? Do you still
        do this after decades of marriage?

    5. Read Song 1:15-16. What great advice do we find here?
      (Tell your spouse that they look great!)

      1. Focus on the last part of verse 16. What does “our
        bed is verdant” mean? That you have green sheets?
        (Something that is verdant is flourishing and alive.
        This is not suggesting that you let your pets sleep
        with you or never wash your sheets. It means keep
        your love life fresh.)

  2. Positivity

    1. Read Song 5:9. Have you asked yourself this about your

    2. Read Song 5:10-11 and Song 5:13-15. Is his head really
      like gold and his body decorated with sapphires? (Of
      course not if he is a human.)

      1. So, what is being said? (She is overstating his

      2. When you get together ladies, and discuss your
        husbands, do you overstate how good they are or do
        you overstate their defects?

        1. What about you, husbands, how do you speak
          about your wives?

        2. What does stating your complaints do to your
          mind? (It reinforces the negative attitude. You
          should say positive things about your spouse.)

    3. Read Genesis 4:1. The NIV refers to “laying” with your
      wife and the NKJV refers to “knowing” your wife. The root
      Hebrew word means to understand by seeing. Why would
      having sex be described as “knowing?” (It is the greatest
      intimacy. Nothing is secret anymore.)

      1. I used to read about “open marriages,” meaning that
        the couple allow sex with other people. These days I
        rarely read about this. If these kinds of marriages
        are going away, why? (They make the mistake of
        thinking that you can “know” someone intimately and
        not be changed. Those marriages generally do not

      2. Read Genesis 2:24-25. What is the positive side of
        “knowing” your spouse? (This is part of becoming “one
        flesh.” Sex brings you together. It keeps the
        marriage healthy. That is why adultery tears the
        marriage relationship.)

  3. Timing

    1. Read Song 8:1-2. What does he want to be able to do to
      her? (Kiss her.)

      1. What is the problem? (Society. The culture will
        disapprove. But, if he were her brother, he says no
        one would think anything about it.)

      2. What is the lesson for us? (There are time, place,
        and relationship restrictions on intimacy with

    2. Read Song 8:4. What does this tell us about timing? (Those
      who are unmarried can and should exert control over
      timing. “Arousing love” at the wrong time is dangerous.)

      1. Modern culture in the United States says that this is
        not true, that young people cannot control when they
        “arouse” love. What do you say? (Modern culture does
        not want to suggest control. When I was young there
        were no unwed mothers, and it was extremely rare to
        be obviously pregnant before marriage. That was not
        due to better use of birth control, and it was not
        due to abortion. Rather, it was the “control” caused
        by society pressure.)

      2. Is “control” different within the church? (A new
        bride reported to my wife that she had sex before
        marriage, and that everyone did. This suggests an
        attitude has completely reversed within a single

      3. What does the lack of a father do to “family
        seasons?” (The child never experiences a proper
        relationship with a father.)

    3. Read Song 8:8. Who is speaking here? (The siblings.)

      1. What do they want to do? (Help their younger sister
        get ready for marriage.)

    4. Read Song 8:9. What are the younger sister’s options? (To
      be a wall or a door. She will either accept or reject sex
      before marriage.)

      1. How does the outcome change based on the sister’s
        decision? (She either is a “tower” with “silver,” or
        she is “enclosed” in a limited space.)

        1. What do you think this means? (I think the one
          refers to pride and wealth. While the other
          refers to limited options.)

    5. Read Song 8:10. What choice does the younger sister make?
      (She is a “wall.” She does not have sex before marriage.)

      1. How does that affect her marriage partner? (That
        causes contentment.)

        1. Why would that be true? (They are not being
          compared to others.)

  4. God’s View

    1. Read Leviticus 20:10. How serious is adultery in God’s

    2. Read Leviticus 20:13. What sin is being described here?
      (Homosexual sex.)

      1. How serious a sin is this in God’s eyes? (Like
        adultery, it is a death penalty sin.)

      2. Notice the phrase, “their blood will be on their own
        heads.” What does that mean? (I think it means they
        made a bad choice. God views it as a choice.)

    3. Read Leviticus 20:22-24. What does this teach us about the
      popular culture? (It will have different standards than
      those of God. God abhors this culture.)

      1. No modern western culture imposes the death penalty
        for adultery and homosexuality. What should concern
        us about God’s view? (God’s judgment on these things
        is the final and ultimate judgment.)

    4. Is this just an Old Testament standard? (Read Romans 1:26-27 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. God’s opinion is the same in
      the New Testament. If you have time, read Romans 1. It
      traces the progression of sin, and that has some
      interesting lessons.)

    5. Friend, God invented sex. He tells us that romance and sex
      are wonderful. However, He places time and manner
      restrictions. Will you decide, right now, with the aid of
      the Holy Spirit to comply with God’s will on this subject?

  5. Next week: Keys to Family Unity.