Introduction: Sin is a type of addiction, which like all addictions,
is progressive. If you want to keep sin out of your marriage, you
need to watch out for the small things, not just the big problems.
Small issues will likely grow into big, painful problems. What are
these “small” issues in marriage that are addictive? A few that come
to mind are pornography, criticism of your spouse, and coveting the
spouse of another. Let’s dive into our lesson to observe what not to

  1. The Progression

    1. Read 2 Samuel 3:1-5. Early on in David’s rise to
      leadership, what problem do you see in his life? (Multiple

    2. Read 2 Samuel 5:13. What kind of attitude was David
      establishing towards women and marriage

    3. Read 2 Samuel 11:1-2. What do you think crossed David’s
      mind, given his background with women? (That this
      beautiful woman might be added to his harem.)

    4. Do you think this woman knew she could be seen by the

      1. Do you think she cared? (She no doubt knew she was
        beautiful. Perhaps she thought it would be an
        innocent pleasure to have the King of the country
        notice you and think you were beautiful.)

    5. Read 2 Samuel 11:3-4. Why does the Bible say that she had
      “purified herself from her uncleanness?” (This is a
      reference to her ceremonial “cleanliness” – a spiritual
      matter. No doubt this reflects their views of what is
      important – how glad we are to hear that they are
      observing the small matters of the law and violating the
      large matters of the law!)

    6. At this point, how would you imagine things are between
      David and Bathsheba? (Exciting. Dangerous. Maybe romantic.
      A little guilty. They got away with it.

    7. Read 2 Samuel 11:5. Now how are things

      1. At this point does David regret his decisions?

    8. They say that hindsight is 20/20. With perfect hindsight,
      at what point did David cross the line into sin? Lets look
      at the possible points? Raise your hand when we hit the
      point of sin and keep raising it.

      1. When he decided to take multiple wives?

        1. If you would think this was a sin under any
          circumstances, is it a sin that lead to
          committing adultery with Bathsheba?

      2. When he stayed home instead of doing his job of leading the troops?

      3. When he looked long enough to tell she was beautiful?

      4. When he sent someone to find out who she was?

      5. When David sent for her – knowing that she was married?

      6. When he slept with her?

    9. Read James 1:14-15. How does this say sin comes into our

    10. Are there practices and activities in your life and your
      marriage that may not be sin in themselves, but are just
      not wise?

      1. Does this vary with the nature of your weakness
        towards sin? That is, if some sins are more of a
        problem for you than others, are you especially
        careful in the problem areas?

  2. The Attempted Cover Up

    1. Read 2 Samuel 11:6-9. David is caught in sin. Does he

      1. Why not? (Uriah might try to kill him. Might start a
        revolt. At least Uriah might start complaining and
        that would embarrass him.)

      2. What does David do? (He tries to cover it up by
        sending for Uriah so that he will spend the night at
        home with his wife.)

    2. Read 2 Samuel 11:10-11. Why doesn’t this scheme work?
      (Uriah is now just the opposite of David. He has a very
      high sense of duty. He will not spend the night in his
      house, when all of his fellow soldiers are out in tents. (It may even have been an established practice for
      soldiers to refrain from sex when on a military campaign.
      See 1 Samuel 21:4-5.))

      1. How would such words sound to King David, who is
        living in his palace while his troops are in the

      2. Is this a rebuke to David? (Yes. Uriah had the right
        to sleep with his wife. All the reasons why Uriah
        said he should be out in the field were reasons why
        David should be out there too. And, David was
        sleeping with the wife of a man that was out there.)

      3. What does this tell us about the relationship between
        Uriah and Bathsheba? (It might not tell us anything.
        However, what it says to me is that Uriah has a
        gorgeous wife who is married to a man who has
        priorities higher than sleeping with her (even after
        he has been off at war). He was even ordered by his
        King to go home ( 2 Samuel 11:8) If she suffers from
        pride in her beauty, this might tell us something
        about why she was willing to sleep with the King – a
        man whose top priority (it seems) is sleeping with
        beautiful women. Uriah prefers a high sense of honor
        over her beauty – thus she takes second place. The
        King puts her in first place.)

    3. Read 2 Samuel 11:12-13. What is “Plan B” for David? (David
      tries to get Uriah drunk, so that his resolve will lower
      and he will sleep with his wife.)

      1. Does this work? (No.)

    4. Read 2 Samuel 11:14-15. What is “Plan C” for David?

      1. Someone has to be on the front line. Would it have
        been “okay” for David’s instructions to have stopped
        with “put him on the front line?”

      2. In your opinion, was it murder to tell Joab to
        withdraw and leave Uriah alone?

    5. Read 2 Samuel 11:16-17. Did Joab do it the way that David
      suggested? (No. Joab did not withdraw the rest of the

    6. Read 2 Samuel 11:18-21. What does this tell us about
      Joab’s method of following David’s instructions? (He put a
      number of men in peril. More than just Uriah died that

      1. Why would Joab send the whole front line too close,
        and allow several of his men to die? (Perhaps David’s
        plan is too obvious? Perhaps Joab thinks it is too
        plainly murder.)

      2. Why would Joab tell the millstone story? (This story
        ( Judges 9:50-54) about the milestone refers to a
        prior battle involving the son of Gideon. This son,
        Abimelech, was an evil leader of Israel. During one
        battle he got too close and a woman threw a milestone
        down on him and it cracked his skull. Joab is telling
        David this was not malpractice on Joab’s part. He
        knew better as a military strategist.)

    7. Why didn’t David just let Bathsheba have the baby and deny
      that it was his? (He either loved her or he had some honor
      left. Soldiers can die. This one did – fighting for his
      country. My bet is that David had all of this justified in
      his mind. He could not justify, however, letting Bathsheba
      be stoned to death.)

    8. After a proper period of time, David marries Bathsheba.

  3. The Confession.

    1. Read 2 Samuel 12:1-4 God sent Nathan to David. He tells
      him a story. How do you react to the story?

    2. Read 2 Samuel 12:5-6. Would you want to confront the king
      with his sin?

      1. What is David’s response to this story? (He is angry
        and passes a judgment on his own sin.)

    3. Read 2 Samuel 12:7. Nathan brings the point forcefully

      1. Why does David so clearly understand the nature of
        his sin when he is told this story, but is unable to
        see his sin when it is his life? (Friend, this is a
        serious problem in our lives. We justify our own
        sins. We downplay them. But, when we look at them in
        another context, we see how wrong we have been.)

        1. Have you ever had that happen? You are involved
          in some sin, and you hear someone say something
          in another context that cuts you to the heart?

    4. Read 2 Samuel 12:7-9. Why is God so unhappy with David?
      (God has given him so much. If God has blessed you, how
      have you treated Him?)

    5. Read 2 Samuel 12:10-12. Consider the nature of God’s
      punishment on David. Think about this in the context of
      your sins. Would you like your sins to be made public?

    6. Read 2 Samuel 12:13. How does David react to his sin?

      1. How does this compare to the way that King Saul
        reacted to his sin? (Read 1 Samuel 15:13-20.)

      2. In 2 Samuel 12:13 Nathan says that David will not
        die. Why does he say that? (The penalty for this sin
        was death. It crossed David’s mind that the Lord
        might require his life for this. Indeed, when he
        heard the “lamb story,” he announced “the man who did
        this deserves to die!”)

    7. Friend, are you taking the small details of your life
      seriously? Are you taking the sin in your life seriously?
      Sin has terrible consequences. The momentary pleasures of
      sin pale in comparison to the long-term pain. Just ask
      King David.

  4. Next week: Ahab and Jezebel: Abuse of Authority.