Introduction: How do you find a spouse? How do you know when it is
the right person? Once you are married, what basic rules should you
follow? The story of finding a spouse for Isaac recounts another time
and another culture. But, there are important lessons we can learn
for today. Let’s jump right into our lesson and see what we can
learn!
- Finding a Wife
- Read Genesis 24:1-4. Isaac should be about 45 years old
right now. Would you guess that he had noticed potential
wives among the Canaanites? - Why did Abraham reject them? (They were not followers
of God.) - What does it say about Abraham, Isaac and Eliezer,
that Abraham consults with Eliezer about finding
Isaac a wife, and Isaac goes along with this?
(Eliezer has been running Abraham’s household for
decades. He is apparently a very competent,
intelligent and wise man who follows God. Isaac has
a history of trusting his father’s judgment. (See
Genesis 22, where Isaac has been willing to be
sacrificed by his father.)) - What lessons do we learn from this about
marriage for today? (Two things. First, it is
important to seek to marry someone with a
compatible religious background. Second, when
seeking a mate, you should pay close attention
to the views of those who are mature and wise
followers of God. Taking counsel is critical.) - Read Genesis 24:10-14. On what does Eliezer depend to
obtain the right wife? (He did the reasonable things –
like bringing gifts. But, primarily he prayed that God
would lead him to the right woman.) - What lesson do we learn for today about how to find
the right spouse? (Gifts and the normal aspects of
courting are important. But, the most important thing
is to seek God’s guidance in finding the right
spouse. I have been praying for many years that God
would lead my children to the right spouse. This
week, my son Blake (who is my partner in putting this
lesson on the Internet), is getting married to a girl
who is clearly the answer to my prayers. Are you
praying for God’s guidance for the marriage of your
children?) - What do you think about the “test” that Eliezer sets
up to determine God’s leading in this? (Eliezer is
looking for someone who is gracious, considerate and
hard-working. Seems like an intelligent approach.) - Read Genesis 24:15-19. What do you think about God’s
response to the prayer of Eliezer? (God answers
immediately! Not only that, He provides a woman who not
only fits the requirements of Eliezer’s test, but she is
also very beautiful!) - Eliezer explains to the father and brother of Rebekah his
mission, the “family stock,” the wealth of Abraham and
Isaac, and the Lord’s guidance in selecting Rebekah. Read
Genesis 24:50-51. What does the reaction of the father and
brother tell you about them? (That they were also
followers of God and believed in His divine leading in the
affairs of His followers. There is some debate about
whether this is Bethuel the father of Rebekah, or whether
the father has died and this is a son who bears his name.
In any event, the appropriate “authorities” in the family
give their consent.) - Read Genesis 24:55-58. What is Rebekah’s view of this
arranged marriage? (She seems to agree because she is
willing to go right away.) - Is Rebekah loved by her family? (It seems yes –
for they want a few days to say goodbye.) - Why would you guess Rebekah is so willing to go
right away? (I think she is excited about this
new life and this new adventure and she is ready
to go! Perhaps hanging around for additional
time would only prolong the sadness of leaving.) - Read Genesis 24:59-60. They prayed for a blessing for
Rebekah. Do you see any significance in this prayer? (It
suggests that Eliezer explained the promise of God to make
Abraham a “great nation.”) - The Marriage
- Read Genesis 24:61. Was Rebekah poor? (Her family had
money because she has more than one maid.) - Read Genesis 24:62-63. I think there is a lot of meaning
in these two verses. Is Isaac living at home? (He is not
living with his father. This suggests that he is setting
up his own place to get ready for his new wife.) - Why does Isaac return to his father’s place? (My bet
is that he has carefully calculated the time,
distance and camel speed, and figures his new wife
may show up about now. So, he wants to be present for
the big occasion.) - Isaac went out to “meditate.” I thought this might
mean pray, but that does not seem to be the case. It
means “pensively muse.” What would you guess he is
musing about? (The new wife, of course!) - Is his musing rewarded? (Yes. I recall when my
parents were alive and they would drive to visit
us. A visit was pretty rare, so I would stand
outside my home, or start walking down the
sidewalk to see them coming. Isaac sees the
camels in the distance and his hopes start to
rise.) - Read Genesis 24:64-65. There is an old song I like, “Some
enchanted evening, you will see a stranger, you will see a
stranger, across a crowded room. And somehow you’ll know,
you’ll know even then, you’ll see that stranger again and
again.” These two see each other across an uncrowded
field. I love the mental picture. - Why does Rebekah get down from her camel to ask
Eliezer to confirm Isaac’s identity? (Would it be
refined to start shouting, “Eliezer, is that the
guy?” Since she suspects this is Isaac, it would be
impolite to remain seated on the camel when he is
walking. Sort of the reverse of standing up when a
woman arrives.) - What good news does Rebekah get when seeing
Isaac? (He is interested in her coming. He is
not off on a hunting trip or a sheep-shearing
adventure. He is waiting.) - Why did she cover herself with her veil. Was this a
custom for Hebrew women? (No, it was not. Consider
Genesis 12:14 and Genesis 24:16. Different
commentaries have different answers. One suggested a
Hebrew woman would wear a veil at the time of her
wedding, thus explaining how (later) the son of Isaac
and Rebekah could marry the wrong woman and not know
it. Another said a betrothed woman remained veiled
until the marriage. Another said the veil was a token
of “reverence and subjection” to her husband. I’m
sure Isaac had gotten a look at her face when she was
up on the camel – since his eyesight was probably
better than Eliezer’s and Eliezer recognized him. So,
she lets Isaac see her beauty, then covers it up to
await the wedding. I love this story.) - Read Genesis 24:66-67. God guided the work of Eliezer in
selecting a wife for Isaac – just as Eliezer requested.
How did Eliezer’s faithfulness in partnering with God work
out? (Good work. Isaac loved Rebekah. Notice the reversal
of the order of modern marriages: “so she became his wife
and he loved her.”) - Do you understand how Isaac’s marriage could comfort
him with the loss of his mother? (My son and my
daughter were born before my father died. That
helped to cushion the loss. No doubt, Sarah’s death
helped trigger Abraham’s decision to get moving on
getting a son for Isaac. Abraham wanted to have this
taken care of before he died.) - Children
- Read Genesis 25:20-21. What kind of problem did Rebekah
have that sounded a familiar family theme? (She also had
no children – like Sarah.) - How did Isaac handle this? Compare his actions with
that of his father? (Isaac turned to God instead of
turning to scheming.) - Read Genesis 25:22-23. Where does Rebekah go to have her
questions answered? (She goes to God!. This is a godly
couple!) - What does she learn that is contrary to the normal
order of things? (The older will serve the younger.)
- Read Genesis 25:27-28. The story so far of the marriage of
Isaac and Rebekah sounds perfect. What problem creeps into
the marriage? (They have preferences among their
children.) - If you are reading this you once were a child. Unless
you were an only child, what does favoritism do to a
family? (My parents suffered from favoritism when
they were growing up. They determined never to show
any favoritism when they were parents.) - The Bible gives food as a basis for Isaac’s
preference for Esau. Do you see any other reason?
(Esau is the man of adventure. He is not hanging
around the tents!) - Read Genesis 25:29-34. What does this reveal about the
characters of Esau and Jacob? (It doesn’t say anything
good about either of them.) - Our story goes down hill from here. Genesis 27 describes
how Rebekah and Jacob conspire to deceive Isaac in his old
age and deprive Esau of the birthright. Why would Rebekah
feel justified in this deceit? (Remember, prior to their
birth, God’s prediction in Genesis 25:23 that Esau would
serve Jacob.) - Because of this deceit, Jacob is forced to flee from
his home. He never sees his father or mother alive
again. - Friend, how wonderful things were when Isaac and Rebekah
depended upon God. When their lives turned to favoritism
and then deceit, it tore the family apart. Will you
determine to live in accord with God’s rules? - Next week: Jacob and Rachel: Labor of Love.
