Introduction: Recently, I saw a book title in which the author seemed
to add the word “sex” just to help it sell better. When a read a
little note about the book, it admitted this. Well, this lesson is
sort of about sex, so let’s hope more people are encouraged to read
it! Does the Bible talk about sex and romantic love? You bet! Why?
Let’s plunge into our study and find out!
- The Pleasure of Romance
- Read Song of Solomon 1:1-2. Why does Solomon’s wife want
him to kiss her? (It is delightful. Notice that the Bible
endorses the physical side of romance.) - To what does the wife of Solomon compare love?
(Wine.) - Why? Is this like saying “your love is better
than milk?” - Have you ever heard of someone getting “buzzed”
from alcohol? (The suggestion here is that
physical love gives a lift to your attitude. It
gives you a “buzz.”) - Read Song of Solomon 1:3. What other physical sense is
involved in romance? (The sense of smell. Guys, if you are
interested in romance, make sure you smell right!) - What does it mean “your name is like perfume poured
out?” (By the way, this is great writing!) - Ladies, do you remember when you were dating and
you wrote the name of your boyfriend down a few
times? Then you wrote your name with his last
name as yours? Why did you do that? - Why would his name be important? (This is a
theme of the Bible. God often refers to His name
being important. The idea is that your name
symbolizes you. Here, Solomon’s name is like
perfume for his wife. He is just wonderful.) - Speaking of the importance of names, I trust
that all of you noticed that if you re-arrange
the letters in my last name (Cameron), you get
“romance.” How great is that? - What about the last line of verse 3. Put
yourself in the wife’s place, is this good or
bad? Does the answer depend on your gender?
(Pretty often I run into a spouse who is
terribly jealous and cannot stand anyone
admiring his or her spouse. If you have a strong
marriage, you have a sense of confidence about
it. Your attitude is that your spouse is more
valuable to you because others see the value in
your spouse. If you are the only one in the
world who thinks your spouse has any worth, odds
are your marriage is not very good.) - A Confident Marriage
- Read Song of Solomon 1:4. What is Solomon’s wife’s
attitude about others admiring Solomon? (She says that
they are right! Here is a wife with a confident attitude.) - Assume that your attitude is that if your spouse
looked around a little, your spouse would drop you
and choose someone else. What signal does that send
to your spouse? - Although Solomon’s wife says other women adore you,
who gets to “into his chambers?” (This is the
confident attitude. All you other women can adore my
husband, but I’m the one who gets to sleep with him.) - Read Song of Solomon 1:5-6. Why is Solomon’s wife dark?
(She has been out working in the sun.) - What does she mean when she says that she has
neglected her “own vineyard?” (It means she has
neglected her own appearance. I think we have a
cultural issue here. In my culture, a “healthy tan”
(healthy is in quotes because of the cancer issue) is
admired as beautiful. In some other cultures, it is a
mark of beauty for a woman to seem as if she has
never been out in the sun.) - Is Solomon’s wife bad looking? (No, she starts
out saying she is “lovely.”) - Then why is she complaining about being in
the sun? (She exhibits a healthy concern
about her appearance. Remember when I
asked if only you could appreciate your
spouse? If you are the spouse and you
think only your spouse could appreciate
you, then you need to work on your
appearance.) - Solomon’s Response
- Read Song of Solomon 1:9-11. Guys, Solomon compares his
lovely wife to a horse. Good idea or not? - What does Solomon say improves the looks of his
lovely wife? (His wife must be from California.
<grin>) - Read 1 Timothy 2:9-10. Would Paul agree with Solomon?
- Read 1 Peter 3:3-4. Would Peter agree with Solomon?
- How can you reconcile Solomon, Paul and Peter on the
issue of wearing jewelry? (Of the three, Peter (1
Peter 3:3-4) explains God’s thinking about jewelry.
He teaches us that true beauty comes from our
character and not from what we wear. This is a
caution to focus on developing character rather than
carats. The Bible Exposition Commentary says “a woman
who depends on externals will soon run out of
ammunition!”)
- Men, what do you learn from listening to what Solomon said
in Song of Solomon 1:10-11? (Compliment your wife on her
looks – or at least on what she is wearing.) - Lovely Responds
- Read Song of Solomon 1:12-14. What is the purpose of
perfume? (To attract.) - What does Solomon’s wife say he is to her? A bag of
flowers? (She says that she is attracted to him.) - What do you think is important about the placement of
the “sachet of myrrh?” Careful, now. (This is below
her nose. She is saying that Solomon is constantly on
her mind.) - En Gedi, according to the Bible Knowledge Commentary,
is an oasis. What meaning does this suggest about the
wife’s comment? (That Solomon stands out from the
other men – like a good-smelling, beautiful oasis in
a desert.) - Ladies, do you tell your man how much you appreciate
him? Do you compare him favorably to other men? Or,
do you suggest that he is a desert and other men an
oasis? - Excitement in Marriage
- Read Song of Solomon 1:16-17. Are we learning something
about the way Solomon’s palace was built? Does King
Solomon have a green (verdant) bed? (No. This means that
the lovers are enjoying each other outdoors.) - The man has a palace. Why would they be outdoors?
(Adventure, excitement.) - Is there a lesson in this for your marriage?
- Flashback
- Obviously, we cannot study the entire book of the Song of
Solomon in one short lesson. From what we have seen so
far, Solomon and his wife (by the way, her name is
Shulamith) have a good marriage. This solid marriage is
built on a solid foundation. Let’s move ahead in Song of
Solomon to the place where we have a “flashback” to the
time before their marriage. Read Song of Solomon 8:8-9.
Shulamith’s brothers are talking about what they can do to
help her have a good marriage. What does the discussion of
“walls” and “doors” in verse 9 mean? (This is a reference
to their sister being chaste (wall – keep others out) or
wild (door – let others in).) - How do the brothers react if their sister is a wall?
(There are several suggested meanings here. One is
that the “tower” means that the sister will stand
tall in their opinion. Another is that the brothers
will reward her with lots of jewelry to make her even
more attractive. Another is that this refers
specifically to a type of head ornament. The bottom
line is that the brothers will give her freedom and
reward her if she is a “wall.”) - How do the brothers react if she is wild? (If she is
a “door,” they will lock her in her room! I think the
sense is that they will restrict her freedom.) - Parents, is there a lesson in here for you?
- Read Song of Solomon 8:10. What is she? (A wall – even
though she asserts that men would be interested in her
body. Her brothers do not need to worry about her.) - Who else does not need to worry? (Solomon. She says
that the fact that she has been a wall before
marriage brings him “contentment.”) - Read Song of Solomon 8:11-12. What does this discussion
about vineyards mean? (Solomon has an actual vineyard
which brings him money from its fruit. She says her body
is also a “vineyard” capable of producing “fruit.”) - What is the girl’s attitude towards her “vineyard?”
(She is specifically speaking about her virginity and
she realizes that it is something of great value –
just as a regular vineyard would be. She saved it to
give it to Solomon.) - Do we teach our children that their virginity is a
valuable gift? Something of great worth? - Read Song of Solomon 8:14. Since this is a flashback, what
is Solomon’s wife suggesting? (She is harking back to the
days of their youth. The Bible reminds us that being
chaste until marriage, and then faithful to our spouse,
lets us have this private memory garden for when we are
old.) - Friend, the Bible has something to teach us about sex. It
tells us to be pure, save our self for marriage, and then
in marriage pay attention to the romance! Are you paying
attention? - Next week: Keys to Family Unity.
