Introduction: Recently, I saw a book title in which the author seemed
to add the word “sex” just to help it sell better. When a read a
little note about the book, it admitted this. Well, this lesson is
sort of about sex, so let’s hope more people are encouraged to read
it! Does the Bible talk about sex and romantic love? You bet! Why?
Let’s plunge into our study and find out!

  1. The Pleasure of Romance

    1. Read Song of Solomon 1:1-2. Why does Solomon’s wife want
      him to kiss her? (It is delightful. Notice that the Bible
      endorses the physical side of romance.)

      1. To what does the wife of Solomon compare love?

        1. Why? Is this like saying “your love is better
          than milk?”

        2. Have you ever heard of someone getting “buzzed”
          from alcohol? (The suggestion here is that
          physical love gives a lift to your attitude. It
          gives you a “buzz.”)

    2. Read Song of Solomon 1:3. What other physical sense is
      involved in romance? (The sense of smell. Guys, if you are
      interested in romance, make sure you smell right!)

      1. What does it mean “your name is like perfume poured
        out?” (By the way, this is great writing!)

        1. Ladies, do you remember when you were dating and
          you wrote the name of your boyfriend down a few
          times? Then you wrote your name with his last
          name as yours? Why did you do that?

        2. Why would his name be important? (This is a
          theme of the Bible. God often refers to His name
          being important. The idea is that your name
          symbolizes you. Here, Solomon’s name is like
          perfume for his wife. He is just wonderful.)

        3. Speaking of the importance of names, I trust
          that all of you noticed that if you re-arrange
          the letters in my last name (Cameron), you get
          “romance.” How great is that?

        4. What about the last line of verse 3. Put
          yourself in the wife’s place, is this good or
          bad? Does the answer depend on your gender?
          (Pretty often I run into a spouse who is
          terribly jealous and cannot stand anyone
          admiring his or her spouse. If you have a strong
          marriage, you have a sense of confidence about
          it. Your attitude is that your spouse is more
          valuable to you because others see the value in
          your spouse. If you are the only one in the
          world who thinks your spouse has any worth, odds
          are your marriage is not very good.)

  2. A Confident Marriage

    1. Read Song of Solomon 1:4. What is Solomon’s wife’s
      attitude about others admiring Solomon? (She says that
      they are right! Here is a wife with a confident attitude.)

      1. Assume that your attitude is that if your spouse
        looked around a little, your spouse would drop you
        and choose someone else. What signal does that send
        to your spouse?

      2. Although Solomon’s wife says other women adore you,
        who gets to “into his chambers?” (This is the
        confident attitude. All you other women can adore my
        husband, but I’m the one who gets to sleep with him.)

    2. Read Song of Solomon 1:5-6. Why is Solomon’s wife dark?
      (She has been out working in the sun.)

      1. What does she mean when she says that she has
        neglected her “own vineyard?” (It means she has
        neglected her own appearance. I think we have a
        cultural issue here. In my culture, a “healthy tan”
        (healthy is in quotes because of the cancer issue) is
        admired as beautiful. In some other cultures, it is a
        mark of beauty for a woman to seem as if she has
        never been out in the sun.)

        1. Is Solomon’s wife bad looking? (No, she starts
          out saying she is “lovely.”)

          1. Then why is she complaining about being in
            the sun? (She exhibits a healthy concern
            about her appearance. Remember when I
            asked if only you could appreciate your
            spouse? If you are the spouse and you
            think only your spouse could appreciate
            you, then you need to work on your

  3. Solomon’s Response

    1. Read Song of Solomon 1:9-11. Guys, Solomon compares his
      lovely wife to a horse. Good idea or not?

      1. What does Solomon say improves the looks of his
        lovely wife? (His wife must be from California.

      2. Read 1 Timothy 2:9-10. Would Paul agree with Solomon?

      3. Read 1 Peter 3:3-4. Would Peter agree with Solomon?

      4. How can you reconcile Solomon, Paul and Peter on the
        issue of wearing jewelry? (Of the three, Peter (1
        Peter 3:3-4) explains God’s thinking about jewelry.
        He teaches us that true beauty comes from our
        character and not from what we wear. This is a
        caution to focus on developing character rather than
        carats. The Bible Exposition Commentary says “a woman
        who depends on externals will soon run out of

    1. Men, what do you learn from listening to what Solomon said
      in Song of Solomon 1:10-11? (Compliment your wife on her
      looks – or at least on what she is wearing.)

  1. Lovely Responds

    1. Read Song of Solomon 1:12-14. What is the purpose of
      perfume? (To attract.)

      1. What does Solomon’s wife say he is to her? A bag of
        flowers? (She says that she is attracted to him.)

      2. What do you think is important about the placement of
        the “sachet of myrrh?” Careful, now. (This is below
        her nose. She is saying that Solomon is constantly on
        her mind.)

      3. En Gedi, according to the Bible Knowledge Commentary,
        is an oasis. What meaning does this suggest about the
        wife’s comment? (That Solomon stands out from the
        other men – like a good-smelling, beautiful oasis in
        a desert.)

      4. Ladies, do you tell your man how much you appreciate
        him? Do you compare him favorably to other men? Or,
        do you suggest that he is a desert and other men an

  2. Excitement in Marriage

    1. Read Song of Solomon 1:16-17. Are we learning something
      about the way Solomon’s palace was built? Does King
      Solomon have a green (verdant) bed? (No. This means that
      the lovers are enjoying each other outdoors.)

      1. The man has a palace. Why would they be outdoors?
        (Adventure, excitement.)

      2. Is there a lesson in this for your marriage?

  3. Flashback

    1. Obviously, we cannot study the entire book of the Song of
      Solomon in one short lesson. From what we have seen so
      far, Solomon and his wife (by the way, her name is
      Shulamith) have a good marriage. This solid marriage is
      built on a solid foundation. Let’s move ahead in Song of
      Solomon to the place where we have a “flashback” to the
      time before their marriage. Read Song of Solomon 8:8-9.
      Shulamith’s brothers are talking about what they can do to
      help her have a good marriage. What does the discussion of
      “walls” and “doors” in verse 9 mean? (This is a reference
      to their sister being chaste (wall – keep others out) or
      wild (door – let others in).)

      1. How do the brothers react if their sister is a wall?
        (There are several suggested meanings here. One is
        that the “tower” means that the sister will stand
        tall in their opinion. Another is that the brothers
        will reward her with lots of jewelry to make her even
        more attractive. Another is that this refers
        specifically to a type of head ornament. The bottom
        line is that the brothers will give her freedom and
        reward her if she is a “wall.”)

      2. How do the brothers react if she is wild? (If she is
        a “door,” they will lock her in her room! I think the
        sense is that they will restrict her freedom.)

      3. Parents, is there a lesson in here for you?

    2. Read Song of Solomon 8:10. What is she? (A wall – even
      though she asserts that men would be interested in her
      body. Her brothers do not need to worry about her.)

      1. Who else does not need to worry? (Solomon. She says
        that the fact that she has been a wall before
        marriage brings him “contentment.”)

    3. Read Song of Solomon 8:11-12. What does this discussion
      about vineyards mean? (Solomon has an actual vineyard
      which brings him money from its fruit. She says her body
      is also a “vineyard” capable of producing “fruit.”)

      1. What is the girl’s attitude towards her “vineyard?”
        (She is specifically speaking about her virginity and
        she realizes that it is something of great value –
        just as a regular vineyard would be. She saved it to
        give it to Solomon.)

      2. Do we teach our children that their virginity is a
        valuable gift? Something of great worth?

    4. Read Song of Solomon 8:14. Since this is a flashback, what
      is Solomon’s wife suggesting? (She is harking back to the
      days of their youth. The Bible reminds us that being
      chaste until marriage, and then faithful to our spouse,
      lets us have this private memory garden for when we are

    5. Friend, the Bible has something to teach us about sex. It
      tells us to be pure, save our self for marriage, and then
      in marriage pay attention to the romance! Are you paying

  4. Next week: Keys to Family Unity.