Introduction: How do we have a happy home? Sometimes it is not easy,
sometimes the members of the home make things difficult. But, like
everything else, God gives us directions for making our homes better
places to live. Let’s jump into the Bible and find out how to improve
our family life!

  1. Planned Peace

    1. Read Proverbs 12:20. What would you say is the first step
      towards having peace in your home? How would you “promote
      peace?”(You have to make a decision that you want to have

      1. How would you go about making that decision? Would
        you call a family meeting and discuss whether peace
        is worth pursuing?

      2. What is the next step? (You have to do something. You
        need a plan of action. Proverbs 12:20 tells us that
        joy waits for those who promote peace. That means we
        need to make a decision and then create a plan of

    2. Read Ephesians 4:3. To what is peace compared?(A bond. If
      you want to hold your family together, you need to have a
      plan of action and then make an effort to have peace.)

    3. Read Ephesians 4:2. When we use the term “bond,” we think
      of something that ties us together – sort of like a rope.
      What are the strands of the “peace rope” that holds our
      families together? (Patience. Humility. Gentleness.
      Bearing with each other in love.)

      1. How do you think your family will react when you
        explain that these are some of the elements of the
        peace rope? Are they ready to be humble, gentle,
        patient and loving? Or, is this just some sort of

      2. Our text seems to suggest that love is the basic
        ingredient which allows patience, humility and
        gentleness. Can we just decide to be loving? Can we
        just decide to be humble, patient and gentle?

    4. Read Philippians 2:12-13. In the preceding verses of
      Philippians chapter 2, Paul has just discussed how
      humility promotes the goal of unity. How do we acquire
      humility? (God works in us to do His will. If you have
      trouble with the idea of waving a wand which suddenly
      causes you to become humble, patient or gentle, Paul
      suggests that it is God who can change our hearts. It is
      the working of God that changes our proud, impatient,
      harsh hearts into something else.)

  2. Specific Advice.

    1. Read Proverbs 29:17. The Proverbs give us some specific
      advice for achieving peace in the family. This text tells
      us to discipline our children so that we will have peace.
      What connection do you see between disciplining our
      children and having peace?

      1. Doesn’t it seem that imposing discipline creates

      2. Notice the ultimate future conclusion to discipline:
        delight to our soul!

    2. Read Matthew 18:15. Would this apply to conflicts with our

      1. Have you heard parents publically complaining about
        their children?

        1. What impact do you think this has on our

        2. What direction does Matthew 18:15 give us on
          this issue, if any?

      2. Would this apply to “faults” between husband and

        1. Have you heard wives (husbands) complaining to
          others about their spouse?

    3. Read Philippians 2:3. Give me some examples of how
      husbands and wives can violate this Biblical advice?

      1. Give me some examples of how they can comply with
        this directive?

    4. Read Colossians 3:12-14. Are these principles that should
      apply in our homes too?

      1. If so, what does it mean to “clothe” ourselves with
        compassion, kindness, etc.?

      2. What relationship does forgiveness have to wearing
        compassion and kindness?

        1. Notice that we are to “forgive as the Lord
          forgave you.” How did Jesus forgive us?

        2. Read Hebrews 8:12. Does this also apply to our
          forgiveness? Or, is this an attitude that will
          only apply in heaven?

  1. Anger

    1. Read Matthew 5:22. In addition to anger, what else is

      1. I remember speaking to a divorced lady and she said
        one of the most difficult problems in her marriage
        was that her former husband used to verbally attack
        her intelligence and make her feel stupid. Would
        that kind of treatment be prohibited by Matthew 5:22?

    2. Read Ephesians 4:26-27. Is it okay to be angry for a
      little while? Is anger only transformed into a “foothold
      for Satan” if we let it boil for more than one day?

      1. Or, is this text saying something else?

    1. How can we reconcile Matthew 5:22 with Ephesians 4:26? One
      says “don’t be angry” and the other says, “if you are
      angry, don’t sin?” (It is important that Matthew 5 ties
      anger to murder. Anger is a gateway to murder. The text
      seems to say “Don’t let your anger get out of control.”)

    2. Read Mark 3:1-5. The text plainly says that Jesus was
      angry. Since Jesus did not sin, how do we explain this?
      (Both this text and Ephesians 4:26 help us to understand
      that some anger is okay. Being upset over violations of
      God’s law is acceptable. Being upset over the violation of
      our own space is something to try to reconcile before the

  1. Abortion and Abuse

    1. Read 2 Kings 16:1-3. What parallels are there between
      sacrificing your child in the fire and abortion? (The
      reason to sacrifice your child was to encourage the “gods”
      to treat you favorably. The reason to sacrifice your child
      to abortion is that you think life will be better for you.
      The two are very similar.)

      1. Is abortion a form of child abuse? (The ultimate –
        you deprive the child of the opportunity for life.)

      2. How could abortion cause harm to family life? (The
        feelings of regret and remorse can create later
        problems for the family.)

    2. Often I hear about adults who abuse children who
      themselves were abused as children. Why should this

      1. If this is a temptation for you, consider the
        enormity of the pain and sin that goes from
        generation to generation. The time to stop the chain
        of pain is right now.

    3. Read Romans 1:26-27. Would this prohibition cover child

    4. Friend, a happy family does not just happen. It is an on-going project. Will you determine today to follow God’s
      rules for happiness in your family?

  2. Next week: Families of Faith.