Lesson 2: Textbook on Relationships (Matthew 5, Song of Solomon 1, 2, 5 & 7)

Introduction: In John 15:12 Jesus tells us to love one another as he loved us. Normally, we think about this in terms of our relationships with strangers or neighbors. But does this command apply to our spouse as well? Let’s plunge into our study of the Bible and explore whether the Song of Solomon is a source of inspiration and teaching on that topic.

I. Purpose of the Scripture

A. Have you ever had someone give you advice about something, and you were thinking, “Why should this person give me advice on that? This person has that very problem in their life!”

B. Last week we discussed the fact that Solomon had 700 wives, 300 concubines and a home life which was not conducive to seeing the right relationship between a husband and a wife.  Why should we pay any attention to Solomon’s advice on love and our relationship with our spouse? (First, sometimes people learn important lessons through their own mistakes.  Second, Solomon’s advice is part of Scripture. 2 Timothy 3:16 tells us that all Scripture is “Theopneustos” (Theo=God; Pneo= to breathe) so it is “God-breathed.” Similarly, 2 Peter 1:21 says, “For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.”)

II. Purpose of Relationships

A. In Matthew 5, the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus reveals the extraordinary importance of our attitude towards others. Anger, not just murder, is a problem. Lust, not just adultery, is a problem. Calling someone worthless is a problem.

1.Why do you think Jesus said this?

2.How do you think it is true?

3.Is our attitude just as important as our actions?

4.Can the two be separated?

III. Relationship/Attitude between Solomon and Shulamith

A. Let’s begin to look at the attitudes of Solomon and Shulamith. Read Song of Solomon 5:16. This is what Shulamith says about Solomon. What do you think is the most important part of their relationship? (That he is not only her lover, he is her friend.)

1.How important is it that husbands and wives be friends?

2.Do you think that an attitude of friendship is required for a working marriage?

B. Now let’s turn to Song of Solomon 1:9 to look at his attitude towards Shulamith. What kind of attitude does he have? (She says that he is like a friend to her, and he says that she is like a horse to him! Now there’s a good relationship in the making.)

C. Anyone see anything positive in this comparison between Shulamith and a horse? (1. In some cultures it is a term of endearment to compare a loved one to an animal. We even do it — for example “kitten.” 2. Horses were very valuable. 3. Solomon has in mind a race horse. I suppose the comparison today would be to a sports car. I doubt that a young lady would mind being compared to a Ferrari.)

1.Why do you think Solomon compared her to an Egyptian horse? (I think they were the most desirable breed.)

2.What is the inference from saying she is like one of the horses owned by Pharaoh? (They would be the very finest.)

3.The NIV translation here is probably not the best. Mares would not be hitched to a chariot. Stallions would be hitched. So the preposition linked with chariots would be better translated “among.” The NKJV says, like a “filly among Pharaoh’s chariots.”

a. Would a mare loose among the royal stallions create a lot of excitement?

(1)If this is what Solomon is saying, then he is also comparing himself to a royal horse. That completely changes our initial impression of what is being said.

D. Let’s look at several texts that reveal more of the positive attitude between Solomon and Shulamith.

E. Read Song of Solomon 1:15-16.  First, he speaks to her in verse 15, and then she responds to him in verse 16. What is being said here that would be beneficial to any relationship? (Compliments and affirmation. The KJV (and several others) start out with “Behold.” This word is “Lo” or perhaps in our day, “Wow.” Second, as we discussed before, he compares her to an animal. Furthermore, he says her eyes are doves.)

1.Think about that. What kind of eyes does she have? (It would seem to be grey, iridescent eyes. Beautiful eyes were a hallmark of perfection in a woman in those days.)

2.In Solomon 1:16 she calls him handsome. Husbands, do you like it when your wife calls you “handsome?”

3.She says their bed is “verdant” or “green.” Does this mean it is eco-friendly? (In nature, something that is “green” is alive and well.  They have a thriving sexual relationship.)

F. Read Song of Solomon 2:3. This time Shulamith is speaking. What does this suggest in a marriage relationship?

1.He calls her a horse and she calls him a tree?

2.What about the fact that she calls him an apple tree in the midst of a woods? (He was something special. All the rest were ordinary tees. This guy is an apple tree.)

3.What attitude do you see in the idea that she sits in his shade? There are lots of other trees, but she sits in his shade! (Shade would mean delight and comfort. It would also mean that the person was close.)

4.What do you think is meant by saying that his fruit is sweet to her taste? (The word translated “taste” refers to inside the mouth. It could mean kissing. It could mean she is learning, tasting  the ways of love. In any event, she enjoys it.)

G. Read Song of Solomon 2:6. Shulamith is again speaking. What are they doing here? Put yourself in their place. (They are laying down and hugging — at a minimum. The word embrace is not frequently found in the Old Testament. In Proverbs 5:20 it is used to describe love-making.)

1.What is the lesson here about your attitude towards your spouse? (Embracing, touching is an important part of the relationship. Both of my parents complained that their parents did not touch them. So they were very demonstrative towards each other and towards us children.)

H. Read Song of Solomon 7:7-8. This is Solomon speaking now, and this is where you can start snickering at me. What does Shulamith look like? (She is a tall, slender woman — her stature is like a palm tree.)

1.Solomon says that he is going to climb that palm tree. Once again we see a statement about the need for physical contact between husband and wife.

I. Read Song of Solomon 2:10-14. What kind of attitude is suggested here? (1. They are spending time together, enjoying nature and appreciating the change in seasons. The point is that a couple should spend time together. Relaxing together. Enjoying life together.)

IV. Next week: We will be looking at how this Song is put together. For example, we will learn about who is speaking and when so we can better understand the Song when we get into it.