Introduction: What is your attitude about pleasing others?
Because I’m a professor, my students want to please me.
Because I’m old enough that I don’t have to work, I could
say that I’ve had enough of pleasing my employer. But that
is not my attitude. I want to please my students, my
employer, and generally everyone else who crosses my path.
Why is that true? Plenty of people simply do not care about the
opinions of others. My reason is that I believe my life is
better when I make the lives of others better. Is this a
Biblical principle? Let’s dive into our study of the Bible
and learn more!
I. Pleasing Others
A. Read Ephesians 5:22. How do you understand this
verse? Should wives “submit” to their husbands in a
way that considers their husbands to be like God?
Would that be pleasing?
1. Or, should they only submit to their husbands
in a way consistent with their submission to
God?
2. Or, is this saying that the relative merit of
the husband is irrelevant, because this is a
matter of obedience to God?
3. Does this verse generally command submission
of women to men? (It is specifically limited
to “your own husband.)
4. How do you understand the word, “submit?”
B. Let’s back up and consider the context. Read
Ephesians 5:15-16. How can you make this advice
part of your life? (Paul tells us to think
carefully about the direction of our life. Be
smart. Use your time well.)
C. Read Ephesians 5:17. Should we ask ourselves when
considering the direction of our life, what would
God suggest?
D. Read Ephesians 5:18. When you are drunk, what has
happened to your free will? (You are controlled by
your drunkenness.)
1. Notice being filled with the Holy Spirit is
stated as an opposite activity. Do you think
the two are opposites? (The Holy Spirit guides
your actions as opposed to your drunkenness.)
E. Read Ephesians 5:19-20. Is this describing an
attitude? (This is a positive approach to your
relationships with others. You share uplifting
things and you are grateful.)
F. Read Ephesians 5:21. How does this suggestion fit
in the line of suggestions we just considered? (The
first suggestions are about our life and they
progress to how we should relate to others.)
1. Many people view verse 21 as a direction to
submit to those in authority, but the text
says nothing about authority. However, if you
do not insert authority into this verse, does
it make any logical sense?
a. How could two people submit to each other
if they have different ideas on what to
do? (Context tells us to have a cheerful,
grateful attitude. This attitude improves
the lives of others, and in that way is a
submission to others without compromising
our opinion on a specific subject.)
2. What does the final phrase, “out of reverence
for Christ” add to your understanding of what
this means? (The submission results from our
understanding of God’s will. The result should
be consistent with the teachings of Christ.)
G. Read 1 Peter 5:5. Would Peter agree that the elders
should submit to those who are younger? Does he
disagree with Paul’s statement in Ephesians?
H. Read Proverbs 14:7. What if the other person is a
“fool,” should we submit to a fool?
I. Let’s look again at 1 Peter 5:5. What does Peter
suggest for “all of you?” (He suggests an attitude
of humility.)
1. Let’s feed this back into Ephesians 5:21. Do
you think submitting means doing what the
other person says? (Submission is an attitude
that improves the lives of others. The context
suggests we are not talking about specific
issues on which we may disagree.)
II. Pleasing Your Spouse
A. Now lets apply our understanding of “submission” to
Ephesians 5:22. Since the same Greek word is used
in Ephesians 5:21, does this mean wives should have
a humble attitude towards their husbands?
1. Does it mean more?
B. Read Ephesians 5:23-24. Would you agree that a
proper interpretation of these verses is that we
should have a humble attitude towards God? Is that
all it means? (It must mean more.)
C. Read Ephesians 5:25-27. What should a husband give
up for his wife? (Himself.)
1. Can you describe a relationship where one
partner “submits” and the second partner gives
up everything for the other?
D. Read Ephesians 5:28. Since I’m a husband, I
consider the direction in this verse the most
important advice to husbands. “He who loves his
wife loves himself.” Will a wife have any problems
with a husband who believes this and acts on it?
E. After being married for more than fifty years, I
think the commands to submit and love must become a
natural part of the attitude if they are to work.
If the husband demands submission, or the wife
demands love, something is terribly wrong. The Holy
Spirit can change our attitude.
III. Pleasing God
A. Read Psalms 149:1-3. What kind of attitude towards
God is described here? (Joyful praise!)
1. Do you ever experience this? If not, why not?
B. Read Psalms 149:4. Does God take pleasure in us?
(This text says explicitly that He does.)
1. Do you want God to take pleasure in you? If
so, what does this suggest is the way to
accomplish this? (Humility.)
2. Think back to our discussion of mutual
submission and a wife’s submission. How
important is humility to those submissions?
C. Read Psalms 149:5. Whose glory is referenced here?
(Considering the context, it must be God’s glory.)
1. What does it mean to sing for joy in your bed?
(You go to sleep praising God!)
D. Read Psalms 149:6-9. Whoa! How did we get from
humbly praising God to executing punishment and
binding kings through the power of the sword?
1. A recent decision of the U.S. Supreme Court
regarding guns said that the fundamental
reason citizens have a constitutional right to
possess guns is so they can keep the
government in check. Does the discussion of
swords in these verses reflect a similar idea?
E. Read John 18:36. How does this apply to our
discussion? (Jesus famously said that His kingdom
is not of this world, otherwise, His servants would
be fighting Rome for His freedom. In light of this
I’m uncertain of the full extent of what these verses
in Psalms mean, but they must at least mean that
our humble praises and submission to God should
result in tangible steps to promote the Kingdom of
God on earth.)
F. Read 2 Peter 2:2-5. Who is handling the “sword”
here? (God is executing judgment.)
G. Read 2 Peter 2:6-9. Who is rescuing the righteous
from the “sensual conduct of the wicked?” (God is
rescuing Lot. Lot is not raising his sword.)
1. What should we conclude from Lot’s story of
living in a wicked city and Psalms 149? (The
key is humility. The Holy Spirit will lead us
in understanding what we should do to advance
the work of God.)
IV. Making Sense of This
A. Read Mark 9:17-19. Is Jesus calling His disciples
“faithless?” (They seem to be included among others
who are present.)
B. Read Mark 9:28-29. How did the disciples fail?
1. Is their failure a permanent problem? (This is
logically connected to our discussion of
swords. The disciples thought they could do
what Jesus had been doing. Jesus tells them
that connecting to the power of God through
prayer is essential. Once again, humility is
the key to success.)
C. Friend, do you want to be pleasing to God, to your
spouse, and to your friends? An attitude of
humility is central to success. Why not, right now,
ask the Holy Spirit to give you an attitude of
humility?
V. Next week: God Is Passionate and Compassionate.
Copr. 2025, Bruce N. Cameron, J.D. Scripture quotations are
from the ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard
Version ), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing
ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All
rights reserved. Suggested answers are found within
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